what tools or controls should I use (parental controls, safe browsing, device limits)?

The Kids Online Health and Safety Report outlines widely endorsed best practices for digital safety tools. The most effective approach combines technical tools with open communication and education.

What is going on?

Parental controls and safety tools are most effective when they are part of a broader strategy that includes communication and digital literacy education. Technical tools cannot block everything, and savvy teens often find workarounds if controls feel overly restrictive or secretive. The best approach uses controls transparently, explains the reasoning behind them, and adjusts settings as teens demonstrate responsibility. Different ages require different levels of protection, and what works for a twelve-year-old will feel stifling to a sixteen-year-old.

What is normal:

What is not normal (seek support):

• Complete reliance on parental controls without any discussion
• Overly restrictive settings that prevent normal age-appropriate use
• Controls set secretly without teen knowledge
• No technical protections at all despite concerning behaviour
• Using controls as punishment rather than protection
• Failing to adjust controls as teens mature

Your teen’s perspective:

I get that parental controls exist for a reason, but when they are too strict it makes me feel like my parents do not trust me at all. What works better is when they explain why certain things are blocked and give me the chance to earn more freedom. The worst is when controls are set up secretly, that just makes me want to find a way around them.

How to start the conversation:

• “I want to show you the safety settings we have on your devices. Let me explain why they are there.”
• “As you get older and show you can handle more responsibility, we will adjust these controls.”
• “These tools are here to help, not to spy on you or control you.”
• “If you come across something that the filters block and you think should be allowed, let us talk about it.”
• “I know you could probably get around some of these controls if you wanted. I am trusting you to work with me on this.”

Do:

• Use built-in parental controls on devices and platforms
• Enable safe search and content filters age-appropriately
• Review app permissions and downloads together
• Use screen time tools collaboratively rather than punitively
• Adjust controls as your teen matures and earns trust
• Combine technical tools with education and communication

Avoid:

• Relying solely on technical controls without conversation
• Setting controls so strict that normal use is impossible
• Installing monitoring software secretly
• Using the same restrictions for a 12-year-old and a 17-year-old
• Assuming controls are foolproof, they are not
• Failing to teach the skills behind the protections

Watch for:

Regularly review what controls are in place and whether they are still appropriate. Ask your teen if the settings feel fair and discuss any adjustments needed.

When to seek help:

Seek additional guidance if you are unsure which controls are appropriate for your teen’s age and maturity, if your teen is consistently trying to circumvent safety measures, or if you discover they have accessed harmful content despite protections. Your family doctor, school, or digital wellbeing organisations can provide advice.

In the app:

Ladybird is designed with teen safety in mind from the ground up. The app includes age-appropriate moderation, privacy protections, and safety features that do not require invasive monitoring.

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