Most women were never properly taught about their own hormones. They learned about periods as something to manage, not something to understand. This is a template for the letter many mothers wish someone had written for them, and that they now want to write for their daughters.
What is going on?
The hormonal education most women received was minimal at best. They were told what a period was and given a product. They were rarely told about the four cycle phases, about oestrogen and progesterone and what these do to mood, energy and cognition. They were rarely told that the way they feel changes predictably across the month, or that understanding those patterns could change how they relate to their own minds and bodies. Your daughter can have all of this from the start. That is the gift you can give her.
What is normal:
Key takeaways
- Wanting to give your daughter information you did not have
- Feeling emotional about the gap in your own hormonal education
- Not knowing exactly how to explain what you know or feel
- Wanting the conversation to feel warm and meaningful, not clinical
- Uncertainty about how much detail to share and when
What is not normal (seek support):
- Deciding the conversation is too complicated and putting it off indefinitely
- Leaving her education entirely to school or the internet
- Feeling so overwhelmed by your own history that you cannot engage
Your teen’s perspective:
The most important thing my mum ever said to me about hormones was not a fact. It was that she wished she had known all of this earlier, and that she wanted things to be different for me. That made me feel like understanding my body was something worth doing, not just something I had to cope with.
How to start the conversation:
- “I want to tell you something I wish someone had told me.”
- “Your hormones will change how you feel across the month and that is completely normal.”
- “Understanding your cycle is not just about periods. It is about understanding yourself.”
- “There is an app I want you to have. It was built by a mum, for girls like you.”
Do:
- Write the letter, speak the conversation, send the message you wish you had received
- Frame hormone knowledge as empowering, not just practical
- Share what you know about your own cycle if that feels right
- Give her The Ladybird Club so she has an ongoing resource, not just a one-off conversation
- Tell her that understanding her hormones will help her understand herself
- Make this an opening, not a closing
Avoid:
- Making hormones sound only like a burden to be managed
- Giving her clinical information without emotional context
- Having the conversation once and considering it done
- Waiting until she is struggling to introduce the topic
Watch for:
The way you frame hormones shapes the way she will relate to her own body and emotions for years. Framing them as intelligent, cyclical and worth understanding is one of the most useful gifts you can give.
When to seek help:
Worth knowing
If your own relationship with your hormonal cycle has been significantly difficult, whether through PMDD, endometriosis or other conditions, a GP or specialist can help you understand and manage what you are experiencing, and that knowledge is worth sharing with your daughter too.
In the app:
The Ladybird Club was built exactly for this moment. It gives your daughter the hormonal education she deserves, in a beautiful, private space that is entirely her own.
Related articles
- Perimenopause and puberty at the same time: how to cope when you are both going through it
- Why your daughter’s first period might hit differently when you are in perimenopause
- menstrual education for teen girls , how to talk about puberty
Understanding starts here.
Free to download. Free for every girl, always.