Worth knowing
Open conversations about puberty, body changes, and self-worth are essential but can feel awkward. Learn how to approach these topics in ways that build trust and confidence.
What is going on?
Adolescence brings rapid physical changes that can feel alarming and confusing. Bodies develop at different rates, and teens often compare themselves unfavourably to peers or unrealistic media images. Self-esteem during this time is closely tied to body image and social acceptance. Many teens don’t receive adequate information about puberty, leaving them confused or ashamed about normal developments. Parents play a crucial role in normalising these changes, providing accurate information, and helping teens develop a healthy relationship with their changing bodies. These conversations set the foundation for lifelong body image and self-worth.
What is normal:
Key takeaways
- Curiosity or concern about body changes
- Comparing themselves to peers or media images
- Some self-consciousness about appearance
- Questions about what’s happening to their body
- Interest in personal care and grooming
- Fluctuating confidence levels
What is not normal (seek support):
- Extreme distress about normal body changes
- Refusing to eat or over-exercising to control weight
- Complete avoidance of mirrors, photos, or social situations
- Expressing hatred for their body
- Signs of disordered eating or body dysmorphia
- Self-harm related to body image
Your teen’s perspective:
It’s awkward when my parents try to talk about body stuff, but I secretly want information. I just don’t want to ask because it’s embarrassing. I wish they would bring it up casually, not make it a big serious talk. And I notice when they complain about their own bodies, it makes me think I should be critical of mine too.
How to start the conversation:
- “Your body is changing, and that’s completely normal. Everyone develops at their own pace.”
- “What questions do you have about what’s happening to your body? No question is too embarrassing.”
- “The people you see online often use filters and editing. Real bodies look different.”
- “What do you appreciate about your body? It does so many amazing things for you.”
- “Growing up can feel strange sometimes. How are you feeling about all the changes?”
Do:
- Initiate conversations about body changes, don’t wait for them to ask
- Provide age-appropriate resources (books, videos) for information
- Model positive self-talk about your own body
- Celebrate what their body can do, not just how it looks
Avoid:
- Commenting negatively on your own or others’ bodies
- Making appearance-based compliments the primary form of praise
- Assuming they know everything already
- Waiting until they seem distressed to start conversations
Watch for:
Notice how your teen talks about their body, is it mostly negative? Do they avoid certain activities because of body concerns? Are they obsessive about appearance or weight? These can signal developing body image issues.
When to seek help:
Seek support if your teen shows signs of eating disorders (restricting food, binge eating, purging), body dysmorphic disorder (obsessive focus on perceived flaws), or severe body-related distress. Early intervention is crucial for these conditions. Your family doctor can provide referrals to specialists.
In the app:
Ladybird’s articles provide age-appropriate information about puberty and body changes in a format teens can access privately. The app’s mindfulness exercises also support positive body image and self-compassion, helping teens develop a healthy relationship with their changing bodies.
Normalising body changes and having ongoing conversations about self-worth helps your teen develop healthy body image that lasts beyond adolescence.
Related articles
- how are smartphones and social media changing teen development?
- how do I navigate conversations about identity (gender, sexuality, self) with my teen?
- how can I be emotionally available and supportive without enabling my teen?
Understanding starts here.
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