Supporting a teen through mental health crisis is exhausting. Taking care of yourself is not selfish, it is essential for you to be able to help them.
What is going on?
Parenting a teen in crisis is one of the most stressful experiences anyone can face. The constant worry, the disruption to normal life, the emotional intensity, it all takes a toll. Many parents neglect their own wellbeing, believing their teen’s needs must come first. But you cannot pour from an empty cup. If you burn out, you will not be able to support your teen. Taking care of yourself is not selfish; it is essential.
What is normal:
Key takeaways
- Maintaining some personal activities and relationships
- Accepting support from others
- Processing your own emotions about the situation
- Setting boundaries to protect your wellbeing
- Recognising your limits
- Seeking help when you need it
What is not normal (seek support):
- Complete neglect of your own needs
- Isolation from all support
- Burnout affecting your ability to help
- Your own mental health declining significantly
- Using unhealthy coping mechanisms
- Resentment building toward your teen
Your teen’s perspective:
I did not realise how much my crisis was affecting my parents until later. I felt guilty about that. What I wish they knew is that it was okay for them to take care of themselves too. When they were completely exhausted and stressed, it made everything feel more intense. When they took breaks and got support, they were actually better able to help me.
How to start the conversation:
- “I need to take care of myself so I can be here for you.”
- “I am going to talk to someone about how I am coping, that is healthy, not a sign of weakness.”
- “I love you, and I also need to set some limits to stay well myself.”
- “We are both going through something hard. Let us support each other.”
- “I am not abandoning you by taking care of myself. I am making sure I can be here for the long haul.”
Do:
- Maintain at least some activities that bring you joy or relief
- Accept help from friends, family, or professionals
- Process your own feelings about what is happening
- Set boundaries to protect your wellbeing
- Seek your own therapy or support if needed
- Remember that this is a marathon, not a sprint
Avoid:
- Neglecting your physical health (sleep, food, exercise)
- Isolating from everyone outside the crisis
- Making your teen responsible for your emotional state
- Feeling guilty for having needs of your own
- Using unhealthy coping mechanisms (alcohol, overwork)
- Expecting yourself to handle everything perfectly
Watch for:
Check in with yourself regularly. How are you sleeping? Are you eating properly? Do you have anyone to talk to? If you notice signs of burnout or declining mental health, take action before it becomes a crisis.
When to seek help:
If you are struggling to cope, seek support for yourself. This might mean individual therapy, a support group for parents, or simply leaning on trusted friends and family. If you are experiencing your own mental health crisis, get help, you cannot support your teen if you are not okay yourself.
In the app:
Ladybird’s parent resources are designed to support parents as well as teens, providing guidance and strategies that help the whole family navigate difficult times.
Worth knowing
Taking care of yourself is essential, not selfish. You cannot support your teen through crisis if you are burnt out. Seek help, set boundaries, and remember that your wellbeing matters too.
Related articles
- how can I develop a crisis-safety plan with my teenager?
- how can I help prevent future crises , what long-term strategies work?
- how can I be emotionally available and supportive without enabling my teen?
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